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The Anticipated Coming of Autumn

All my life, or most of it, I have been infatuated with spring and summer. The warm weather has always sustained my soul. But as I get older the summer doesn't fill that sweet spot in my heart that it once did. Anxiety plays a large role in the change, I think. I've had a lot of physical health problems the past few years, and many began in the summer in the afternoon or middle of the night. And my mind has not forgotten those moments of terror and realization, and it sticks with me. As I've gotten healthier, I'm trying to leave behind those memories that are imprinted into my body. The changing of the seasons helps.

The past so many years I've fallen in love with Autumn. Hard. The chill in the air and sweater weather with the changing of the leaves brings new cozy moments to enjoy. The sun, especially in the morning and the evening, takes on this warm golden hue that you just don't see in the summer. It hits differently. You get to light the fireplace in the evening to eat beside the fire. Hot apple cider and Pumpkin Spice lattes while walking in the park make me sound incredibly corny, I know, but it's straight up wonderful.

Fall comes in quietly; it sneaks in like the chill during the middle of the night through your cracked windows. Back when we had amber sodium vapor streetlamps in the neighborhood you could see it at night, even, with skeletal trees breaking up the light with amazing natural shadows. Jack-o'-lanterns sitting on stoops and porches. Dead leaves crunching beneath your feet. Scary movies on television in abundance. The anticipation as Halloween approaches is wonderful and exciting.



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