I don't know if I'll keep this journal any longer. I have given up writing about Evander, Tammie, and his vampire nightmare. The angels, vampires, werewolves, magicians and the supernatural world of UNIQUE has left me feeling a bit of a failure, and I haven't even attempted to edit the story or pursue publication for months now. There came a point when I looked back and realized I really was not the writer I had thought I was. I am not talented. I cannot create a deep universe based on gothic demons and it weighed heavily on my soul. After all, that's what I put into this story. But the story was never complete, going in any which direction with the change of my mood, and there was simply no direction most of the time. I look back now and wonder if I was in so much of an painkiller haze that I actually thought what I was writing was any good.
I truly feel like I am leaving something to rot, to fester in my imagination like mold through bread. And I am completely heartbroken. Perhaps I had just invested to much emotionally into THE UNIQUE DESTRUCTION OF AN ORDINARY SOUL and it was never going to be good enough...
