Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Deep Hiatus

I don't know if I'll keep this journal any longer. I have given up writing about Evander, Tammie, and his vampire nightmare. The angels, vampires, werewolves, magicians and the supernatural world of UNIQUE has left me feeling a bit of a failure, and I haven't even attempted to edit the story or pursue publication for months now. There came a point when I looked back and realized I really was not the writer I had thought I was. I am not talented. I cannot create a deep universe based on gothic demons and it weighed heavily on my soul. After all, that's what I put into this story. But the story was never complete, going in any which direction with the change of my mood, and there was simply no direction most of the time. I look back now and wonder if I was in so much of an painkiller haze that I actually thought what I was writing was any good.

I truly feel like I am leaving something to rot, to fester in my imagination like mold through bread. And I am completely heartbroken. Perhaps I had just invested to much emotionally into THE UNIQUE DESTRUCTION OF AN ORDINARY SOUL and it was never going to be good enough...

Wednesday, February 6, 2013


For the past three days I've been celebrating. The Baltimore Ravens are Superbowl XLVII Champions and I have been blissful since 11pm Sunday night. We, my nephew and I, waited in the cold city for four hours yesterday for the Ravens parade, and it was worth all of the potential frostbite! Coach Harbaugh actually said "I love you, too," to me, and I nearly fainted like a school girl! This was also Ray Lewis's last ride, and I'll be honest, I got extremely emotional. I haven't been able to read or write since the big game. I'm just overcome with happiness! It may be weeks before things get back to normal in Baltimore...

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Superbowl XLVII

Well it's Superbowl Sunday. My Baltimore Ravens. The City of Baltimore on edge, excited, and I'm high on two cups of Caramel macchiato. This is not just a game, no matter what my girlfriend keeps telling me. This is the height of civic pride. And I find it hard to explain what it means to be so fervent about a team to her. She should know by now that those are hurtful words after our seven+ years together. Orioles baseball and Ravens football mean the world to me.

And today will monumental, one way or the other. I literally prayed last night for a win. I just can't take a loss. I'll be back later tonight to let you know what I'm feeling...

Go Ravens!

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

So Long 2012!

So this is what happens when you miss the opportunity of a lifetime...?

No job, for over a year; ample opportunity to workout at the gym;  had the time to write, write, and write some more, but what do I do?

Sulk. Lay in deep depression most of the time. It's unbelievable what depression is capable of on the human psyche. I finally got what I always wanted: the chance to stay at home and write, and get paid mildly for it, and I blow it! But alas I'm only human. And I can't do anything about the past.

But the past year wasn't all that bad, really! My Baltimore Orioles broke the curse of 14 successive losing seasons and went to the playoffs; they were one game away from a Championship game. I got to visit Fenway Park and watch the Orioles beat the Sox--how great is that?!--I waited a lifetime, it seems, for this to happen. The 2nd annual Grand Prix of Baltimore came and went, with some rain, and I'm looking forward to the 3rd race. Star-Spangled Sailabration brought tall ships to our harbor and Blue Angels to the skies over Baltimore! My girlfriend and I saw Dave Matthews Band twice and finally in Baltimore, which I've waited for forever... Went to Disneyworld. And now my Baltimore Ravens are in the AFC Championship after stumbling in the entire latter half of the season. We're one game away from Superbowl XLVII. My dog and I have spent every day together and I love the lil sonofabitch.

And recently I've been having a great time writing Blood and Argyle, a new sequel to UNIQUE. Instead of destroying the world at the end of the first book I decided it should take a little longer, maybe a trilogy of books before I set into motion the next era for the protagonist. I'm enjoying writing again.

Goodbye, 2012. Fuck you. Hello 2013. Don't fuck with me. Look at what happened to '12 when it disappointed me. I made it go away.