So I’ve been re-reading The Vampire Lestat again, and I’m wondering how much this book in particular fashioned some of my ideas about the world and life, or if I simply enjoyed the character and the Vampire Chronicles so much because my attitudes towards death and Heaven and Hell are so similar to Lestat’s?
I first read the book in 1997. That’s about the same time I was coming up with my own anti-God, anti-Christian musings. And you know, I’m actually kind of worse off for it all. I mean, like Lestat mentions before being turned, blue skies are never quite as blue since I began to question these things. Sure, I’m not always doom and gloom, but the world changed the moment I began to question everything, the moment I realized, if you will, that there isn’t anything after this. And that is the hardest thing to believe. This mentality empirically reveals that living is the hardest thing of all to do. We’re the ones with regrets and worry and anger, while those who pass are consigned to a peaceful yet unaware nothingness. They do not have memories of the life they left behind, and we the living are the only ones to mourn this loss.
But isn’t it great to be alive and see a blue sky at all, no matter what the shade or season? I’ve learned in a very short time that life is precious, no matter what is out there after our heart stops beating and we either are placed in the ground or ashes are scattered in some beautiful place, it’s all worth it. Every single minute of it.
Looking at life this way has only one curse: life goes by quickly. But I’m enjoying it nonetheless. With every book I read or song I listen to or every time I make love, I’m having the time of my life.