Vampires Keeping Me Up At Night

Out there is getting darker, grayer by the moment. A sprinkle of rain is falling now. It’s chilly out there. But in here, it’s warm, exacerbated by the glow of yellow light above me. Before me is the manuscript. Beside me is a single white pill. Both affect me differently, but haunt me just the same. Chevelle’s bass line strums my synapses into anticipated euphoria for now and what's coming... This is the moment that makes whatever I do worthwhile. Whether I begin striking keys into forming words and paragraphs or sitting stoned in front of my movie posters on the wall, it’s all the same. It flies by quickly, and I wonder during each and every second of it, “How long will it last this time?” Doesn't matter. I keep writing. Later, I'll be sleeping, and I'll have other questions that need answers. But it will soon be October, Halloweentober. And I'll be happy. 31 days of movies, ghost stories, jack-o'-lanterns. Haunted Houses. The Earth turning into a Thomas Kinca

After years of half- assedly searching for literary agents and publishers for my first novel ( UNIQUE , which is still not as mint and perfect as I’d like it to be) I’m starting to feel like self-publishing is the way to go. I never began writing this novel for the sole glory of hitting the publishing lottery. No, I started this story for myself, and eventually for other people like me to enjoy; people who are into comics, vampires, and sex. So if I never have the gratification of receiving an acceptation letter in the mail from some big New York publishing house, should that really hurt my chances of becoming a published author and sharing my story?

Okay, today’s pretty good. I’m pilled up, Ravens would kind of a shocking week 1 game at home yesterday, and the boss is on vacation. The weather’s good and, well, class isn’t too out of control yet. Double header Monday Night Football tonight and I’m off tomorrow. I must find time to write in WITNESS tomorrow! All my hopes and dreams hinge on publishing these books. Planning for Memphis and New Orleans has taken up a lot of my time, but that's cool.

The O’s complete another losing season in a week or two. My hypochondria seems to be getting worse, and I’m back on the white optimism. I haven’t even thought about either UNIQUE or WITNESS since classes began. One good thing coming up is the trip to Memphis and New Orleans in the end of October with Theresa in our first road trip in the Mustang. And at least football’s back this weekend. Finally a team from Baltimore to cheer for that wins. Anyway, this has been easily the quickest summer of my life. The coolest, too. I’m quite blown away, really. I’ve stopped drinking, hanging with friends, and generally doing anything. Things are great with my GF. But I wonder if maybe I am just depressed. As you may know, I’m not fond at all of the word or its definition; but what else could it be. I’ve even lost my appetite and cravings for food! Today I eat only out of habit and for sustenance. This is both good and bad.