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Showing posts from July, 2009

Dream. Last night.

I was young again, maybe 6 years old. Walking home from school, I suppose, a car pulled up beside me. I remember it as a brown station wagon - there was some orange in there too - and the passenger door opened. I cried. I don't remember what was being said to me, but I was supposed to get in the car. I didn't want to get in. But I did. Then I realized that it was the driver was family, and I thought to myself "it's okay." When we arrived home, I stepped out of the car, and when I closed the door, I was no longer a child in Elementary school. I was an adult and I bowed over in pain. I think I shivered. But there was this howl, or scream, and I stood up looking in all directions like a prairie dog. And I took off running. Though I never looked behind me, I could feel arms reaching for me, gaining on me, and I couldn't run any faster or any longer as the pain in my right leg gave way and I toppled over. I face planted in the dirt, and closed my eyes. When I came

Self-Destruction

One week free of the menacing, ethereal grip of the wonder pill, and then I blow it. Well it's no longer the vampires keeping me up at night, but then, you already knew that. Now it's sudden panic attacks just when I turn the light out. Something terrible haunts me right when I close my eyes, and I feel my heart pounding in my chest, vibrating through the matress and beating in my ears. Trust me, it won't take much longer for me to see the Dr. There could soon possibly be another wonder pill in my near future if this sticks around...

Climax

Well as I was out for my daily walk last night and I came up with a beautiful ending for WITNESS! That's it, it's done...or just about, anyways. I concluded the story in a nice way of wrapping up the first two a bit better. The lightning was flashing all around me (quite close, indeed) and it just hit me. Not the lightning, well - in a way the lightning, but the ending was written as soon as I got in. And this third day without harmful substances in my body isn't so bad. It's amazing, really, how things change so quickly...

On the Roller Coaster of Reality

The highs and lows continue. For instance, last night the Orioles came back from down 10 runs to beat the high and mighty Sox. Yes, that was astounding. Today, however, they lose in the top of the 9th with a four-run lead. I have been several days without white optimism, and I think tomorrow - the third day successively without them - will be the hardest. But this mentality will probably change when tomorrow night comes. I am planning our Halloween in New Orleans. I am waiting anxiously for that first evening walking amongst the Passed as the chills crawl along my arms and the smell of Cajun cooking lures me into another spot, my ears tingling with the tunes of saxophones and trumpets. I'm wondering, though, how all of this will be experienced if I do not have the added comfort of P.